Not have the heart to: 〜に忍びない
動詞辞書形 + に忍びない
Verb + に忍びない = “not have the heart to”: an emotional brake born of compassion or attachment, never a physical inability.
In short
X に忍びない means “not to have the heart to X”. Out of compassion, pity or attachment, doing X (or seeing, hearing X) would be too painful emotionally. Typical verbs: 見る, 聞く, 捨てる, 断る, 言う. You also meet 〜のは忍びない and, in writing, 〜に忍びず. It's an emotional brake, never a physical inability. Written register, a sentimental tone.
- 祖母の形見の着物は、捨てるに忍びない。そぼのかたみのきものは、すてるにしのびない。The kimono my grandmother left me — I don't have the heart to throw it away.
- 被災地の惨状は、見るに忍びなかった。ひさいちのさんじょうは、みるにしのびなかった。I couldn't bear to look at the devastation in the disaster areas.
- 彼の熱心な頼みを断るに忍びず、引き受けてしまった。かれのねっしんなたのみをことわるにしのびず、ひきうけてしまった。I didn't have the heart to turn down his earnest request, so I said yes.
The basics
忍ぶ is “to endure in silence”. 忍びない = “one can't endure it”. X に忍びない: the act X would be too painful for the heart. Think of the object you love, the person you pity, the scene that's heartbreaking — English “I don't have the heart to”, “I can't bring myself to”.
This keepsake kimono — I don't have the heart to throw it away.
- noun
- verb
- particle
- grammatical form
- 形見の着物は捨てるに忍びない。かたみのきものはすてるにしのびない。This keepsake kimono — I don't have the heart to throw it away.
- 一生懸命な彼に本当のことを言うのは、忍びなかった。いっしょうけんめいなかれにほんとうのことをいうのは、しのびなかった。He was trying so hard that I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth.
How to form it
に忍びない follows a dictionary-form verb. You also find it after 〜のは, and in the written form ending in ず to lead into another clause.
| Construction | Example | Use |
|---|---|---|
| verb + に忍びない | 捨てるに忍びない | basic form |
| 〜のは忍びない | 言うのは忍びない | more common in formal speech |
| verb + に忍びず、〜 | 断るに忍びず、引き受けた | written, leading on |
| past | 見るに忍びなかった | narrative |
- 子犬を手放すのは忍びないが、仕方がない。こいぬをてばなすのはしのびないが、しかたがない。I don't have the heart to part with the puppy, but there's no choice.
Compassion, not inability
に忍びない never says you're physically unable: for “I can't carry this bag”, it's 運べない. The brake is moral and emotional: pity for a suffering being, attachment to an object, respect for someone's efforts.
- せっかく咲いた花を切るのは忍びない。せっかくさいたはなをきるのはしのびない。The flowers have only just bloomed: I don't have the heart to cut them.
に忍びない, にたえない, かねる, ことはできない
見るにたえない judges the scene itself (ugly, shocking or horrific). 見るに忍びない expresses the pity of the person looking (it's too sad). かねる says you can't do something for reasons of principle or position (お引き受けしかねます). ことはできない is plain impossibility.
| Form | Reason for “I can't” | Example |
|---|---|---|
| 〜に忍びない | compassion, attachment | 捨てるに忍びない |
| 〜にたえない | it's unworthy, unbearable | 見るにたえない番組 |
| 〜かねる | principle, position (polite) | お答えしかねます |
| 〜ことはできない | plain impossibility | 一人では運ぶことはできない |
- その件については、お答えしかねます。そのけんについては、おこたえしかねます。I'm not in a position to answer on that matter.
Common mistakes
- Using it for a physical inability: “重くて運ぶに忍びない” is wrong.
- Mixing up 見るに忍びない (you don't have the heart to look, out of pity) and 見るにたえない (the scene is unbearable: ugly, shocking or horrific).
- Forgetting に: you say 捨てるに忍びない, or 捨てるのは忍びない.
7 exercises on this point
Particles to choose, sentences to put back in order, translations: marked straight away, then reviewed at the right time. This JLPT N1 point is on the Hokuriku Line (Arts and crafts) of the Shinkansen.