I'd like you to: 〜てほしい・〜てもらいたい
人 (person) + に + Verb in て + ほしい / もらいたい / いただきたい
人に (someone) + Verb in て + ほしい / もらいたい / いただきたい: “I'd like someone to…”. Negative: 〜ないでほしい. With a superior: 〜ていただけませんか.
In short
〜たい says what I want to do. To say what I'd like ANOTHER person to do, use 〜てほしい: もっとゆっくり話してほしい, “I'd like you to speak more slowly”. The person takes に. 〜てもらいたい and 〜ていただきたい say the same thing, more and more politely. In the negative: 〜ないでほしい, “I'd rather you didn't…”.
- もっとゆっくり話してほしい。もっとゆっくりはなしてほしい。I'd like you to speak more slowly.
- ここでたばこを吸わないでほしい。ここでたばこをすわないでほしい。I'd rather people didn't smoke here.
- この書類を、部長に見ていただきたいのですが。このしょるいを、ぶちょうにみていただきたいのですが。I'd like the manager to take a look at this document.
The basics
ほしい means “to want (a thing)”. After a て-form, what you want is no longer a thing, but an action done by someone else. The person who should act is marked with に (or が in a subordinate clause).
In English, “I want you to come” and “I want to come” use the same verb “want”, with a change of structure. In Japanese, they're two different forms: 来たい (me) and 来てほしい (you).
I'd like you to speak more slowly.
- noun
- other
- verb
- grammatical form
- あなたに来てほしい。あなたにきてほしい。I'd like you to come.
How to form it
て-form + ほしい, もらいたい or いただきたい. In the negative, people mostly say 〜ないでほしい (“I'd rather you didn't”). 〜てほしくない also exists, with a stronger note of rejection.
| Politeness | Affirmative | Negative |
|---|---|---|
| casual, direct | 来てほしい | 来ないでほしい |
| neutral | 来てもらいたい | 来ないでもらいたい |
| polite, respectful | 来ていただきたい | 来ないでいただきたい |
- ここでたばこを吸わないでほしい。ここでたばこをすわないでほしい。I'd rather people didn't smoke here.
- 田中さんに手伝ってもらいたい。たなかさんにてつだってもらいたい。I'd like Tanaka to help me.
With a superior: ask rather than state
Even 〜ていただきたい expresses “my” wish, which is still a little direct with a superior. Soften it with のですが (“…but”) or switch to a real request: 〜ていただけませんか. And never talk about someone else's wishes with ほしい without adding ようだ or らしい.
- この書類を、部長に見ていただきたいのですが。このしょるいを、ぶちょうにみていただきたいのですが。I'd like the manager to take a look at this document.
- すみません、もう一度説明していただけませんか。すみません、もういちどせつめいしていただけませんか。Excuse me, could you explain that once more?
たい, ほしい, てほしい
Three wishes, three forms: what I want to do, what I want to have, what I want someone to do.
| Form | What you want | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Verb + たい | to do it yourself | 京都に行きたい |
| Noun + が + ほしい | a thing | 新しい傘がほしい |
| Verb in て + ほしい | someone else's action | 京都に来てほしい |
Common mistakes
- Saying 「あなたが来たい」 for “I want you to come”: たい only talks about your own wish; it's あなたに来てほしい.
- Saying 〜てほしい directly to a superior: it's a bit curt; go for 〜ていただけませんか.
- Putting を or が before the person who should act in a simple sentence: it's に (田中さんに手伝ってもらいたい).
7 exercises on this point
Particles to choose, sentences to put back in order, translations: marked straight away, then reviewed at the right time. This JLPT N3 point is on the Hankyū Kyōto Line (Relationships) of the Kyoto lines.